The Burnt Out New Yorker

I have been taking this city on for a little bit over a month.

The scariest part of this move was initially making enough money and simply surviving.  I am surviving.  I have a good amount of money in savings as well as checking.  I can live comfortably for a long while.  I am pursuing my dreams.  I am doing what I was meant to be doing.  I am on this world to share my gifts with the world. 

I am so grateful to be in this situation.  I am tired, my body is exhausted.  My body keeps cracking and tightening.  I am constantly holding my breath and not really breathing fully.  I have trained by body for years to get through these moments though.  This is a tough moment.  I know how to take care of my body in certain ways.  Right now is my downtime.  I am reminding my self to breathe and stretch out my muscles.  I am trying to release all my tensions that are holding my back.

My current job is serving- it is not a part of my career.  It is just a part of the process.  I work in a high volume, high stress steakhouse.  I walk in every night feeling overwhelmed.  I walk out feeling drained and in need for immediate fulfillment.  I often rush to meet some friends at a bar so I can have a little bit of play time before I do it all again.

In my downtime I remember who I am- I am constantly trying to propel my career forward.  But boy is that hard.  You have to have money to take class, you have to take class to be a strong artist... you have to work to have money.
This is the biggest thing I am struggling with at the moment.

So the trick I am trying to discover is how to make money while being an artist so I can also take some class and study and grow.  I am researching how to break out into the TV commercial industry.  I am resourceful but this period is really tough.

I feel like I am in the best place that I can be for my life right now.  I simply have to get to the auditions to get a job to get out of the current situation that I am in right now.  I am all about it.

Reminding myself I am so loved and I have a lot of love to share with the world.